


Calamity Town Online

by TeamMagma



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Bad Parenting, Chatting & Messaging, Colress and Ghetsis are gay disasters, Everyone hates Giovanni, Everyone hates Lysandre, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Team Rainbow Rocket (Pokemon), Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Sakaki | Giovanni
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamMagma/pseuds/TeamMagma
Summary: The terrible chatroom chronicles of Team Rainbow Rocket, where nothing ever goes well, everyone hates Lysandre, and  we are constantly reminded that supervillains make terrible parents.
Relationships: Achroma | Colress/G-Cis Harmonia | Ghetsis Harmonia, Aogiri | Archie/Matsubusa | Maxie, Mentioned Ariana | Athena/Sakaki | Giovanni, Mentioned Guzma/Kukui/Burnet, Past Sakaki | Giovanni/Matsubusa | Maxie
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	1. Imagine That

**Author's Note:**

> Giovanni is a terrible father, imagine that!

[Giovanni] who added two random children?

[Colress] one of them is your kid

[N] One of them is me.

[Silver] yeah wait why am I here

[N] and actually, there are 4 of us.

[Ghetsis] Fuck i forgot i had 3 kids

[Anthea] yeah we forget that a lot too

[Anthea] mostly because you're NEVER HERE.

[Concordia] we should go live with mom

[N] we don't have a mom, Concordia

[Concordia] fuck he's right

[Lysandre] For some reason I'm questioning if Ghetsis killed all of his ex-wives

[Ghetsis] marriage was never an option

[Silver] my mom doesn't pay attention to me

[Maxie] imagine that

[Giovanni] Maxie, shut up, the children are talking

[Maxie] Bitch

[Concordia] Oh yeah I've heard of you guys, you're the mafioso and one of the guys who didn't pass science class

[Colress] Yes perfect

[Ghetsis] Colress, have you been gossiping to my children?

[Colress] Yes, and I'm not going to stop, it's funny.

[N] relationship ended with ghetsis, colress is my dad now.

[Maxie] Imagine that

[Giovanni] Maxie, shut up, I swear to Arceus

[Maxie] Imagine

[Maxie] That

[Archie] who broke Maxie??

[Maxie] Imagine that Archie, imagine that.

[Archie] I'm going to cry.

[Cyrus] Very good question, why is he repeating imagine that

[Colress] i know >:3

[Giovanni] I swear to arceus, keep both your mouths shut, or so help me

[N] ah, do tell.

[Lysandre] I'm always a sucker for gossip

[Guzma] Same omg send it

[Colress] Silver's mom isn't his mom <3

[Maxie] IMAGINE THAT.

[Giovanni] I'm going to kill you

[Silver] ????

[N] AGSKFBDKDN

[Ghetsis] Oh that's already more interesting than my family drama

[Giovanni] Oh my Arceus, I'm going to die.

[Silver] Who's my mom???

[Giovanni] I am, Silver. I'm transgender.

[N] MOOD

[Guzma] HAHA

[Maxie] Imagine that 

[Archie] Holy shit

[Cyrus] Why do Colress and Maxie know this, yet none of the rest of us

[Giovanni] You and Lysandre don't respond to my homosexual encounters

[Ghetsis] Colress??

[Colress] your name wasn't on that list either bitch

[Concordia] LMAOOO

[Silver] IF YOU'RE MY MOM WHO'S MY DAD

[Maxie] Imagine that

[Colress] Giovanni's a whore, pick someone and you're probably right. 

[Silver] WHY HAS MY MOM ALWAYS SAID SHE WAS MY MOM

[Giovanni] Arianna is a good admin. Plus I mean, red.

[Silver] M!MBBSUANXYDI WL

[Maxie] Imagine that.

[Lysandre] The more he says Imagine That the more worried I get

[Colress] Are Maxie, Giovanni and I REALLY the only people who know this?

[Maxie] : ) imagine that

[Giovanni] MAXIMILLIAN CEASE YOUR SPEAKING

[Archie] HEY ONLY I CAN CALL HIM THAT

[Maxie] that's literally my first name.

[Archie] AAAAAAAA

[Giovanni] Silver, Maxie and I had sex and you came out. Happy early birthday.

  
  


[ teamrocketboss has left the chat ]

  
  


[Maxie] Imagine that.

[Lysandre] WOW OK

[Colress] DBDISNDKDHSKSVMDDH

[N] holy shit

[Silver] WHAT

[Archie] ????

[Maxie] Imagine that.

[Silver] I HAVE QUESTIONS 

[Maxie] Imagine that.

[Archie] did Giovanni give you rabies??

[Maxie] Rabies isn't an std.

[Colress] Are you sure? Pretty sure I got it from Ghetsis

[Ghetsis] ????

[Maxie] Imagine that

[Archie] Ok good, no rabies

[Maxie] Imagine that

[Silver] does this mean you're my dad now?

[Maxie] i take 0 responsibility for you

[Silver] no I want a new dad mine sucks

[N] me too

[Colress] DOUBLE BURN

[Silver] Ok I'm adopting him as my dad now

[Maxie] that's not how that works?

[Archie] it is now

[Maxie] Don't encourage him

[Silver] dad.

[Maxie] oh groudon I'm not ready for responsibility

[Silver] dad please love me

[Maxie] oh fuck

[Silver] dad please

[N] reminds me of me when i was younger

[Maxie] you're 13 why are you so clingy

[Silver] I'VE NEVER HAD A GOOD DAD

[Maxie] ok fine

[Silver] richeous, thanks dad!!

[Archie] can I be a dad too?

[Silver] aw yeah, two dads.

[Maxie] Archie please don't acknowledge my bastard son

[N] ME

[Archie] No, you fucked Giovanni and we're living with the consequences

[Silver] nice, I'm a consequence and not a mistake

[Maxie] is

[Maxie] is that what Giovanni calls you??

[Silver] usually

[Maxie] .

[Maxie] okay now I understand why you want me as a dad instead I'm coming to kidnap you

  
  


[ volcanicrock has added teamrocketboss to the chat! ]

  
  


[Maxie] I'm taking Silver (stupid name btw), pay me child support.

[Giovanni] no??

[Silver] I want fruit gummy

[Giovanni] No, they're not healthy

[Maxie] fuck that, Archie go get the kid some fruit gummies

[Archie] 👌

[Giovanni] YOU'RE NOT TAKING MY SON??

[Maxie] Fuck that he don't even look like you

[Giovanni] BITCH HE BARELY KNOWS YOU

[Maxie] MY KID NOW

[Silver] Yeah, dad, I'm going with dad now.

[Cyrus] I'm so confused. 

[Ghetsis] I lost track after the "I'm trans"

[Colress] we been knew

[N] we've all adopted new dads

[Anthea] Colress is my dad now

[Concordia] dadress

[N] DADRESS

[Colress] DADRESS LMAOO

[Ghetsis] Colress we're not married yet

[Colress] Yet? 👁️

[Ghetsis] No, this isn't about us, this is about Giovanni and Maxie fucking and having the weird bastard baby

[Maxie] I'm pretty surprised nobody connected that earlier

[Archie] Yeah now that I'm thinking about it you do look alike

[Silver] I also need glasses which suddenly makes sense

[Maxie] tiny me. I love you son. 

[Silver] NOBODY HAS EVER SAID THAT TO ME

[Maxie] are you fUCKING KIDDING ME GIOVANNI??

[Giovanni] in my defense i don't talk to him a lot

[Maxie] No. Fuck that. My son now, fuck you.

[Giovanni] ?$!_?$-#(;$bdksbdcslavdlM?!_?!2!3?$!

[Silver] my dad loves me :')

[Maxie] yeah, Archie, how those fruit gummies coming along?

[Archie] I've got them, but where's Silver

[Silver] (location pinned)

[Giovanni] I'm coming Silver Maxie wont steal you

[Silver] fuck that, I'm living with dad now.

[Maxie] my leetol son

[Ghetsis] is this what being a father is?

[Colress] kinda, yeah


	2. Reporting Lusamine to Child Protective Services

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghetsis is a hypocrite.

[Gladion] why am I here

[Lusamine] Why ARE my kids here?

[Maxie] Last time we had Ghetsis and Giovanni's kids in here, now it's your turn for judgement.

[Colress] If we don't like your parenting either Maxie or I will take them

[Giovanni] I told Silver Maxie was his dad and Maxie took custody of him, now I pay child support and only see him on the weekends. 

[Maxie] He said you called him a mistake, Giovanni

[Giovanni] because he was a mistake

[Maxie] No, he was an accident, there's a difference

[Giovanni] No there isn't

[Lysandre] I'm glad you two got a divorce

[Maxie] We were never married

[Maxie] We had sex ONE TIME

[Giovanni] You say that like I'd be a shitty husband

[Maxie] You would

[Giovanni] No I wouldn't! 

[Maxie] Nobody would ever marry you

[Giovanni] >:(

[Lillie] Please take me from my mom

[Colress] immediate red flags

[Ghetsis] I know I'm a hypocrite for saying this but stop taking people's kids, Colress.

[Colress] Until I get a ring I'm not listening to you

[Ghetsis] WOW

[Archie] SBSKBSKSBDMD

[Maxie] God, just do it already, I'm tired of hearing Colress complain

[Ghetsis] Hey weren't we just reporting Lusamine to child protective services lets go back to that instead

[Lusamine] wow ok

[Gladion] I'm adopting Guzma as my new dad

[Guzma] oh god I'm not ready for responsibility

[Gladion] too bad

[Lillie] Can my new dad be Maxie he's cool

[Maxie] no

[Lillie] :(

[Maxie] goddamit, don't do that

[Lillie] fine I'll go with Guzma too

[Guzma] WHYYY

[Maxie] Alright, perfect, Lusamine, you are no longer a mother.

[Lusamine] ?????

[Guzma] I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A PARENT

[Lusamine] Ask your stupid husband and his wife

[Guzma] GOOD POINT


End file.
